He kissed a someone with a penis
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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