Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
