Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just pee around me
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
