Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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