my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
