I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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