Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
