I'm gonna have a badass scar
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
