make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My dick has a subreddit
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
