She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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