She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
