i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
