are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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