Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
