Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
