i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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