you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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