i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
