This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
