I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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