absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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