I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
