Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Randomize
