therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
