Where is the hickey?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
