yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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