Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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