Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
