Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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