Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
