I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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