But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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