i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
