I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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