I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
