I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize