If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
