I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
