You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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