Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
