I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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