Quick, to the slutcave!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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