Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
