Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
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