My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
