I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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