Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
