I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize