so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
