Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
