The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
