I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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