If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
