your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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