im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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