I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You made out with two different species that night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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