The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
