I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Let's get the cat blown out
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
