A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The struggles of a small town man whore
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
