meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
