She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
