there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
