we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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