my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
