The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
